The Bikini Cleanse – does it work?!

A few pounds shy of 200, I often have the opinion “what’s the point?” it’s so hard to lose it, it’s too much effort, it’s not fair because I love food, might as well just maintain it” etc..! Lots of whining. Lots of complaints. Time to take a breath and really understand the facts that got me here. 
Consider what I’ve eaten:

Pizza 2-3x’s/week (and we’re not talking about 1 or 2 slices)

Whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s Tonight Dough on several occasions

White chocolate mochas, Caramel Macchiato, Cappuccinos with whipped cream

Chocolate chip cookies, espresso cookies, biscotti, an entire batch of cookie dough
12 brownies from Fat Witch Bakery 
Entire bags of: spicy chips

Restaurants: macaroni and cheese, steaks, entire bread baskets, chicken cheesesteaks, French Onion soup, General Tso’s chicken with white rice and covered in soy sauce/vinegar


Past 9PM: Full dinners that include pasta and carbs, handfuls of dark chocolate peppermints

Breakfast pastries, cheese soufflés, bagels with cream cheese
Working out: 0, not even stretching
Counting calories or noticing what I eat: 0, not a care in the world in the food arena
Shopping baskets both online and in store filled with the latest and greatest ice creams, pastas, sauces and a few chia seed or new juices which of course must balance it all out (eye roll) actually typing it out…it all sounds kind of disgusting?
I’m absolutely certain I’ve forgotten something from the mix of deliciousness above. Read that a few times, let it sink in and keep it moving. You can’t be upset with yourself if you write down exactly why you’ve become so unhealthy. It’s a great motivator! Everybody finds something that works for them. This helped me break down the “negativity door” and it’s essentially an “ah-ha” moment that helps you to complain less. Eating all of the above is clearly not equivalent to health (pizza + chocolate + no exercise = unhealthy) = no wonder we have the current results = you can’t be mad at that! You can only do better. Starting with a clear mind is the first step to starting this cleanse. I don’t look at this like a miracle in a box (there is no such thing) this is the kick off to a healthy lifestyle. If I can go 7 days without everything above I can keep it rolling beyond those 7 days. Another technique to help when everyone around you is eating/offering sweets and stuff: envision yourself like a solider going to battle and tell yourself you will be stronger than them at the end of the day. The Cleanse encourages you to think like that through their daily affirmations in your passport. Grab your Cleanse Passport and let’s go: Bikini Cleanse

Day 1: Had the smoothie for breakfast and love the taste! It’s identical to an orange creamsicle pop. 10AM had the water stick and have to get used to the taste. Had a salad for lunch using the approved ingredients. 3PM snack was the raspberry water stick, sliced cucumber and peppers. 4PM was the hardest. I started to get a major headache and was super annoyed. When I’m annoyed, I get negative. Why do I have to love food?! Why does dieting have to be so hard?! What’s the point if you only live once and food is such a love?! It could go on and on and on. What a toxic cycle. This time I decided to be stronger than all the negativity and push through. I made a paleo dinner (turkey burger topped with guacamole, one of my favorites). The only slip up I had today was stealing a quarter of one of the leftover pizza slices from the day before. This first day was so hard and I wasn’t exactly pleasant to be around! But this was also one of my first days without a drop of sugar in years. I feel very proud.
Day 2: Breakfast was 2 egg whites and the daily shake. Lunch a spinach salad, of course my two water packets and at 3PM. I made the most delicious soup with butternut squash, kale, chickpeas, crushed pepper, carrots, onions, garlic. It was so filling and healthy. I did add a little couscous, I know that’s not on the cleanse list L but I have to admit the little slip ups I have in between. Day 2 seemed like a piece of cake.

Day 3: I was doing great at breakfast, had the shake and felt full, drinking my black coffee and used to it (this is a huge change for me). But fast forward to now – It’s 10AM and I am dying for a piece of hot, crispy bread with butter (think Bertucci’s rolls) and crispy, thin brick oven style pizza. I’m talking the strongest craving I have ever had in my life. It’s not normal to crave bread this much – what is going on?! If I had bread in front of me I would tear it up like a wild bear. I’m drinking water and my black coffee in a state of sadness. Here comes the importance of weighing yourself daily: I weighed myself this morning and already lost 5 lbs! Why give in and ruin all of my hard work so far?! Today I’m really dragging: starving, tired. I had my black coffee and the water packet but nothing is bumping up my energy today. I’m re-reading my first paragraph above so I remember why I’m doing this and that I CAN certainly do this (after all, it’s just 7 days). Crunching on a cucumber, holding off on my salad because if I eat it at 12PM I will be in such a bad mood at 3PM. My allergies started acting up like crazy. Not sure if it’s the weather or because I’m detoxing from all the sugar. I can’t believe it’s only the 3rd day?! Haven’t I been doing this for a full 7 by now?! I wonder why I’m eating exactly like Day 2 but today I’m so much hungrier and tired?! I saw someone with Chikfila and nearly grabbed handful of crispy, perfect waffle cut fries. But I quit every other diet I’ve tried over the years. Refusing to give in (soldier mentality lol).
Day 4: Shake for breakfast, really loving this shake every day! Salad for lunch as usual, lots of water and my two cleanse packets. I’m really slacking on exercise because I just can’t find the time or a routine I want to be consistent with (that’s an entirely different post in itself). But alas, they say diet is 80% of the battle so I am well over halfway there. Dinner was chicken thighs (why do chicken thighs smell so weird?! It almost made me want to do vegan foods all week). I think the cleanse/cutting out sugar is heightening my already phenomenal sense of smell. I ate a few chocolate mints I store in the freezer (there goes the no sugar) but I thought I was going to pass out and die if I didn’t have one. I caved. 
Day 5: I totally forgot to make my shake this morning because I was rushing L literally the simplest thing to make! I had a chia pudding (sugar free with loads of berries, dash of vanilla extract but in 2% milk) in the fridge that I grabbed. It wasn’t the worst option, but totally off the cleanse. I really feel like making a soufflé with bacon or a bacon sandwich but after reading about all of the cancer-causing nitrates, the cleanse is sounding much better. Challenge of the day – the only food so close to my heart that I can’t give it up – pizza. I feel like pizza so bad right now – or Chinese food…wonton soup with tons of chili paste! Why do I think I’m going to gain all of this weight back right after the cleanse? Why do I have to love food so much?! This is so not fair. 

Day 6: Hot yoga time! If I felt like a total loser for not 100% sticking to this here and there, now is the opportunity to sweat it all out via hot yoga. I loved all 90 minutes of it and it’s such a great complement to the cleanse. I just wish I had the schedule that allowed me to do it daily. It’s the only exercise I really enjoy and find fun. 

Day 7: The moment of truth. I weighed myself and I’m down 7 lbs.! For someone who didn’t stick to the plan 100%, this is actually quite impressive. However, I ate a whole bunch of bacon and 5…yes 5…pastries on Sunday night: chocolate croissant, passion fruit triangle, cheese croissant…they were mini size so maybe 5 minis count as one big one? All jokes aside, I have tried every diet, every non diet (clean eating, just eat real foods) and stuck to none. I love when people say “just stop eating” or “cut out sugar” “eat in moderation” etc. it’s the equivalent of telling someone with a drinking problem to “just stop.” I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and feeling quite disgusted by the bacon and pastry binge. I’m drinking chia water and Bikini Cleanse sticks and back on track. This cleanse certainly helped me drop some pounds and truly feel the impact of good eating vs. a bad binge. I think it’s a great start to a long term change. I’m not a believer of miracle products and nobody else can do it for you. I’ve never given up sugar and carbs as much as I did this past week so it’s definitely baby steps but we must start somewhere. I would recommend this cleanse to anyone struggling with weight loss who wants to train themselves to become stronger with their goals and kick-start a healthy lifestyle. Check them out Bikini Cleanse


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